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  And now she is back living in her apartment, even though it be at the cost of me having to spend continuous nights with her.  With me, as it were, having to make most of the hands-on family's contribution towards the care package.  Which is probably as should have been expected. As it was I who had argued for my mother's return to her own apartment.   When others might, would, even if reluctantly, have gone ahead with her having been placed in a care or nursing facility.  And so do I carry a burden which can sometimes be a heavy load.  But at the same time, I value and derive much satisfaction from sharing this time of solace, of humility and quiet contemplation and poignancy with my dear mother.  In what seems and could be her final few weeks or months of life with us.  Well might I be being sentimental, but I am finding this period of playing 'carer' to my dear mother.   To be partly a matter of making amends for or reciprocating the years she had spent caring for m

  These factors have, probably understandably, though rather frustrating and challenging for me, as the person with primary overall responsibility for my dear mother, as I now possess lasting power of attorney for her.  Because, when the system says or demands that those who fall within it brief should be process according to its protocols and procedures, it is not easy for a lowly individual to hold and stand by a contradictory or opposing position.  How can one, when you know only too well, that if your; my opposing position is allowed to carry the day, and things were later to fall apart, as it were.  How well would I be able to defend my position against those who would argue that, 'it was my fault?   That I had gone against the advise of the professionals, and even family members who had argued for the alternative option?  Who had argued that it was clear that my dear mother would not have been able to be safely cared for in her own home, and should have been placed in a care

  Consequent upon her refusing to cooperate with any aspect of her personal care, such as refusing to eat, to drink, to take her medication or to be changed and dressed.  It is a situation which is not helped with her having reached the point where she is no longer able to communicate eloquently, as it were.  With her not being able to consistently comprehend simple questions, such as, Mama, are you hungry?  Mama, what would you like to eat, or drink? Mama, are you feeling cold or hot? Mama, such and such a person sends their regards to you.  Mama, do you want to talk to me about anything? without evoking a puzzling look on my dear mother's face.   Accompanied by her attempt to repeat what I have said to her, but not being able to come near to repeating some or all of it, but only after several attempts, if at all. So, of to the hospital goes my dear mother, having been taken there by the paramedical heroes who have, over the years, become so much a part of my dear mother's lif

      Although, from an ethical and moral, from a rationalist perspective, it would have been better that man learn how to stop presenting and realising the threat they pose to women and their species.  Thereby removing the need to have them performing their 'protector role.'  A role for which they, men, probably should not be given any or as much credit as they might be being given at present. Another 'thing with some men', is that of their vindictive and murderous nature.  That thing about how they can latch onto women like exocet missiles and refuse to allow them the choice, the freedom to leave them, the men.  In this respect, when women leave the men they had been living with, or having relationships with,  Some of these men resort to destroying the lives of these women, and/or, in the worse case scenarios, kill them and/or their children.  The, 'if I cannot have you, then nobody is going to have you', syndrome.  Of course this extreme behaviour is so abnor