THE ENDING OF AN ENIGMATIC AND POIGNANT JOURNEY AROUND MY AGEING AND EVOLVING MOTHER! PART 148.

 

And now she is back living in her apartment, even though it be at the cost of me having to spend continuous nights with her. 

With me, as it were, having to make most of the hands-on family's contribution towards the care package. 

Which is probably as should have been expected. As it was I who had argued for my mother's return to her own apartment.  

When others might, would, even if reluctantly, have gone ahead with her having been placed in a care or nursing facility. 

And so do I carry a burden which can sometimes be a heavy load. 

But at the same time, I value and derive much satisfaction from sharing this time of solace, of humility and quiet contemplation and poignancy with my dear mother. 

In what seems and could be her final few weeks or months of life with us. 

Well might I be being sentimental, but I am finding this period of playing 'carer' to my dear mother.  

To be partly a matter of making amends for or reciprocating the years she had spent caring for me in my infancy and my childhood. I have no resentment towards having to do what I am doing.

Indeed, it really is the case that I have enjoyed and have a sense of satisfaction, of fulfilment from having shared with my dear mother, the final few years of her life. 

Even if there has been much poignancy, sadness from having observed her physical, mental and cognitive decline.

For now, my dear mother has, finally done her life's journey and has passed on from the land, the state of the living, and has gone to that far, far away, but ever so close place where the dead reside.   

To be continued!