JUST PHILOSOPHISING - ON STATES OF BEING, PATIENT. PART 3.

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Yes, if only I was patient with my elderly mother or father. When they, not being any longer blessed with the lucidity and flexibility of processing and communicating their thoughts as they once were able to do. 

Then I might not have ended up causing them offence, and becoming miserable with feelings of guilt about having been the instrument of such anguish. 

If only I had not, impatiently, resolved that I had heard what they had to say a thousand times already, and that I really do not want to hear it again, because I find it has become tedious and annoying.


If only I had shown them more patience, even, some patience. If only I had the grace to acknowledge that, although they are slower in composing, processing and articulating what they want to say to me.  

Their logic is likely to be as sound as ever, and their ability to recall, when the factor of age and/or illness is removed from the equation, is probably better than mine.

If only I had been patient with my sons, with my daughters, then I might not have to suffer the recurrent bouts of guilt and discomfort I feel.  About our latest verbally, mutually upsetting outburst. 

If only I was or could have been more patient or, even, patient, and not presumed, for the hundredth time.  That I knew what they were going to tell me. 

And that, not only had I already given them the answer, but that it would be no different this time. If only I could have been patient and, just listen, without interrupting and presuming that I had the answer. 

If only I could have really listened, with concentrated listening skills, and not be deflected by generating ' the answers.' Even before I heard the questions or scenarios they wanted to communicate and discuss.

To be continued.




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