AN ENIGMATIC AND POIGNANT JOURNEY AROUND MY AGEING AND EVOLVING MOTHER! PART 140.

 

They tend to bubble out and confuse her about how real they still are, even though they only inhabit her memories.

This is a situation which raises difficulties for those like myself, who are close to my dear mother. 

Not only is it at times difficult to know who she is referring to, what time period is she referring, and the particular facts of the situation my dear mother is speaking about. 

But it is also difficult to know how to respond to her. There have been, and doubtlessly will be again, times when my dear mother has been taking issue with and challenging my actions. 

But without me being aware of it immediately, due to what I could call the experiential or philosophical context in which does so. 

And example of this is the way in which my dear mother will 'knowingly' laugh, before she verbalises or expands her response to something I have said. 

She does so in a way which is probably not dissimilar to how people of her generation will answer or respond to something which has been said to them, in an anecdotal fashion. 

Giving the impression that, in the case of my dear mother, at any rate, she has conjured up or brought together a history of related things to make her answer into an enjoyable experience. 

Whether it be a sarcastic or pleasant experience.

These moments of mirth  tend to occur at times when she is making me out to be, or is including me among those whom she seems to have devalued or given less value to her life. 

These can probably be categorised as my dear mother's ' a me alone' moments or times. 

Times and moments which are probably now her dominant moments and times. These speaks poignantly of my dear mother feeling alone, and that she is 'on her own.' 

To be continued!